


After all

by chaos_monkey



Category: The Expanse (TV), The Expanse Series - James S. A. Corey
Genre: Alcohol, Blow Jobs, Canon Compliant, Fingering, Hand Jobs, M/M, Mildly drunk sex, Shower Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-01-15 18:44:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21257894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaos_monkey/pseuds/chaos_monkey
Summary: Staz's opinion of Miller changes after the assault on Thoth Station.Quite a lot, in fact.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Staz is the hot OPA faction leader with the dark-reddish beard from season 2, if you were wondering. Also, the rating is gonna be going up to Explicit in chapter 2 ;)

First time he saw Miller, Staz had laughed at him along with everyone else when he hurled his guts out on the way to the dark station. 

He'd heard the man's conversation with Diogo. Diogo knew Miller from before, because of course he did. Just that kind of koyo, him, knew everyone somehow. An ex-cop who'd busted Diogo back on Ceres, before? 'Course he'd wind up riding Diogo's hopper on the way to fuck up some mad science shit in the middle of nowhere. 

An ex-cop, who'd worked _'security'_ for Inners. Inners who think they can tell Belters how Belters should live on a fucking Belter station. 

Traitor. 

_ Fuck kind of Belter says they hate space, anyway? _

* * *

Staz had laughed again later that day— except not at Miller, that time. Different. Respect had snuck in after they blew onto the station, while they worked their way in. Shit Belter, maybe, but Miller knew what he was doing there. Knew, and cared about their people. Good leader. Staz couldn't help but respect that. 

And then he'd been listening from around the doorway, watching while Fred Fucking Johnson and James Fucking Holden talked it up with that pinché scientist who never gave two shits about the million and more Belters dead on Eros. He’d been watching when Miller shot the asshole in the face, too, bang in the middle of Johnson talking some _ deal _ bullshit. Watching when Miller double-tapped the fucker for good measure, then walked out without a word while Johnson and Holden stared, frozen like _ they _the ones just been shot. 

Staz had laughed, then, as he slipped away. Laughed at the two stunned Inners. But not at Miller. Miller had done what needed doing. No hesitation. No regret. Just done and done. 

_ Maybe he a fuckin' Belter after all. _

* * *

Next time Staz saw Miller, was after Holden lost his shit at him, soon as they stepped back on Tycho Station. After Staz and his crew had locked up the prisoners. He was out with Diogo that night, looking for Miller. Looking to celebrate with the hero. 

They finally found him at the Blauwe Blome, alone and more than half in a bottle. Could be he was celebrating, could be mourning. Hard to tell the difference, sometimes. Sometimes, _ is _no difference. 

Staz watched them talk, Miller and Diogo, grinning at them both. Not so deep in the bottle as Miller, maybe, but some. His blood was still up, still hot after the raid. And something shifted in his mind while he watched the two give each other shit on the way out the bar. Diogo with a laugh in every word, like always. Miller annoyed, except not really. 

It was a good look on him, so Staz kept on looking.

Shirt unbuttoned nearly down to his navel. Cuffs rolled half up his arms, and them long and Belter-lean, just like the rest of him. Flashes of pale skin through the wide-open shirt when Miller moved, when he turned. 

And his eyes, they were always far away, somehow, even when he was looking right at you. Haunted, even through the haze of drink.

_ Broken, _Staz realized, and deep, too. Beautifully broken, Miller was, broken but still moving. 

And that was a good look on him too. 

Staz had a type, him. Big enough to admit that. He had a type, and fuck if Miller wasn't it. 

Diogo was dragging Miller out, sayin' _ you stay wit me, one of us now. _And sure, Miller went. Staz went too, because why not. 

_ Nowhere else for go. Just life, sometimes. _

* * *

Miller only tried to wander off the wrong way a few times. Staz hauled him back on track each time with another laugh, and each time Miller didn't pull away from the touch. Diogo talked the whole way, talked and postured enough for all three of them. 

"Kid never shuts up," Miller muttered. "Don't know how the fuck you stand it."

Staz grinned wider and clapped him on the back, nearly sending him staggering into the wall. "You gonna stand it just fine, mi pensa."

"Not much choice, I guess," Miller answered, but not bitter. Resigned, maybe. Grateful too, though, under.

"Esà es," Staz agreed, and then they were there. Diogo gave Miller the _ tour grandé _like it was more than a single cramped room smelling of last week's jumpsuits. 

Miller ignored him and went straight for the head. Staz lounged against the wall by the door. Waiting. 

Diogo shot him a look, paired it with a knowing leer and a wink. "Gonya find some _ real _party, me. You stayin' here wit pampa, eh?"

Staz smirked back, shrugged with his hands. _ Maybe. Who knows. _

"Don' wannta see no fuckin' mess," Diogo warned with another leer, and then he was gone. 

Miller finally came back out, face damp, eyes a little clearer. Stopped, blinked.

"Where's the kid got to?"

"He go lookin' for some action," Staz answered, watching him. Met his eyes. "You know. Time for party, right?"

"Huh," Miller grunted, scratching at the stubble on his jaw. "The hell are you still doing here, then? Not 'lookin' for some action' too?" 

"Didn't say that," Staz said. He pushed off the wall and sauntered towards Miller. "Maybe lookin' right here, me."

Miller stared at him for a second, then leaned a shoulder on the wall, arms folded, and coughed out a bitter laugh. "Yeah, sure you are. What'd you do, lose a bet? Forget it."

"Na, not like that." Staz pulled up just short, stood in front of him. Looking down, just a little, holding the far-away gaze. "Was wrong about you before, me." 

"Is that right?" Miller asked, only he said it, like it wasn't a question. Raised his chin. Like bracing for a hit. 

"I like you, Miller," Staz said bluntly. He had a feeling blunt's all would work with him. "Didn't before. Do now. You a good man. A good _ Belta. _You just keep it hidden, you. Here," he added, and he raised a hand and rested it on Miller's bare chest in the narrow V of his still-open shirt. 

Miller twitched. 

It was small, but it was there. No question. 

"How long it's been, hey?" Staz asked softly, stepping closer without lifting his hand. Miller didn't move closer, didn't pull away. "Too long, esá my guess. Why so hard for believe someone wants you, just from the wanting and no more? So hard for believe you _ deserve _ for feel _ good _one night?"

Miller flinched, that time, and Staz knew he'd called it right.

"You don't know a damn thing about me," Miller finally growled, his voice hoarser than usual. His eyes dropping away. 

"Don't need for know," Staz said, and now he slid his hand up that warm skin, cupped Miller's jaw instead. Rough against his palm. Worn. Like Miller himself. "Want, sasa ke? But don't need." 

Miller looked up again, eyes searching. Staz could _ feel _ Miller seeing him. Seeing into him— and then Miller twisted, shoved, slammed him back against the wall. Pressed up against him, eyes fierce. _ Hot. _

Staz barely had time for another grin before Miller's mouth was on his, sharp bite of whiskey still on his tongue. 

_ The fire still in there after all. Fuckin' knew it, me. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's going to be one more chapter for sure, maybe more than one depending how carried away I get! This whole thing is really just me shrieking _I love Miller, _in fic form. 
> 
> He needs more love, dammit.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heed the rating change, folks ;)
> 
> Big thank you to silent_bard for the beta read!
> 
> (Also, I realized somewhere between the first and second chapter that Belters say 'for' instead of 'to', so that's been fixed in Chapter 1)

It was all tongues and teeth and panting breath, Miller’s mouth hot and demanding and _ perfect. _

Staz shoved both hands up under the lanky Belter’s loose shirt, gripped his waist and pulled him close. Wanted to feel him _ proper, _wanted the heat of his skin. Miller’s hips jerked forward and he pinned Staz even harder to the wall with a growl, his hands fisted tight in the front of Staz’s shirt. 

Felt good. Felt _ alive, _and Staz could tell Miller felt it too. They got each other halfway to undressed like that, sloppy, desperate, up against the wall in Diogo’s little hole he called home. Miller yanking Staz’s belt open quick while Staz fumbled one-handed at the tiny buttons up the front of Miller’s shirt. 

They only broke from the kiss long enough for Miller to tug Staz’s t-shirt up over his head, hips still flush together. Staz didn’t get more than half a breath in before Miller was back on his mouth, both of them hungry for _ more. _

He’d only managed to get one button open on Miller’s shirt in that whole time and was about to bypass them entirely, leave the fucking things scattered over the floor without another thought— but like reading his mind, Miller stopped, pulled back just enough to give him a _ look. _Panting, though, and that sure was nice to see. 

“Don’t even think about it. I like this shirt.” 

Staz rolled his eyes but left the buttons be. Liked the shirt too, after all. 

“You do it, then.” He started working Miller’s pants open instead. “Na patience for that fancy shit, me.” 

Miller grunted, tugging his buttons open one by one and cursing under his breath the whole way. While he did that, Staz finally got his breath back. Got his hands down the back of Miller’s pants and onto that nice tight ass, too. 

Still leaning back against the wall and watching Miller wrestle with his own shirt, Staz pulled Miller’s hips tight to his again, thrusting idly and groaning softly at the friction of it. He was already hard, could feel Miller most of the way there, cock hot and stiff against him even through their clothes. 

“Know you fuckin’ stink, hey?” Staz commented with a lazy smirk when Miller _ finally _worked the shirt off and threw it aside. 

“Yeah, yeah. Like you’re any better.” 

“Mm.” Staz leaned in and covered his mouth in another kiss, catching Miller’s bottom lip between his teeth when he pulled back again. “Is the job, sasa? Long day today. _ Hard _day. But Diogo, he have a shower back there. You saw.” 

Miller hesitated. 

“Hot water?” he finally asked, and Staz nodded. With his head, for once. Hands were… busy. Miller’s jaw twitched, hips twitched, too. Again. “Yeah, what the hell. Been awhile since I was anywhere with an honest-to-god _ shower._” 

“Lead tha way, bosmang,” Staz drawled, giving Miller’s ass a squeeze and smirking wider when he huffed a short laugh. 

Following Miller into the tiny bathroom, Staz shoved his own pants down, kicked them off with the rest of his clothes while Miller got the water going. Miller looked fucking good like that, half naked and half bent over and Staz slipped up behind him as he straightened, hands going to Miller’s hips and mouth going to that lean curve where neck turned to shoulder. 

Miller’s breath hitched. He leaned back into it, tilted his head to give Staz room to start sucking a trail of biting kisses over his skin— but then he shook himself. Shrugged his shoulder away from Staz’s mouth. 

“Alright, c’mon. Quit that. I don’t need to spend the next week covered in hickeys.” 

“Mm… you sure?” Staz murmured. Would’ve been nice to see, that, his marks on Miller’s skin a while… but he let up on the biting. Didn’t raise his mouth off Miller’s shoulder, though, and slid his hands inwards and down while he talked. Ran fingers through coarse hair until his fingertips brushed the very base of Miller’s cock, still trapped in his pants. 

“Ah— yes, damn you. I’m sure,” Miller ground out. His hips twitched under the touch and Staz hissed a soft breath through his teeth. Miller’s pants were so low on his hips, Staz’s dick was nestled right there in the crack of his bared ass and the movement rubbed him against Miller’s skin. 

Light, _ teasing. _Left him wanting more. 

_ So _much more. 

Pity Staz’s own place was clear across the station. Miller wasn’t like to have anything with him, and Diogo talked a big game, sure; but Staz was pretty fucking sure that’s all it was. Talk. Any rubbers he had floating around were probably leaky as a rotten vac suit, and Staz sure as hell wasn’t gonna go looking for a lube stash. 

_ Is what it is. Belters improvise. We use what we got. _

He ran his tongue up Miller’s neck and ground his cock hard against Miller’s ass once more before pulling his hands away, stepping back. 

“Well? Come on, then. You wasting good water,” Staz said with a grin. Stepped into the tiny shower and left Miller muttering darkly to himself while he finished stripping. 

Not much room in there, so Staz washed and rinsed quick before Miller joined him. Was tight, sure, but they fit. Good and close. 

Miller immediately held a hand out for the soap bulb, but Staz slotted it back into place on the wall instead. 

“Hey, come on. I need that,” Miller complained. 

“Na yet,” Staz said. He pushed Miller back against the wall, covered his mouth in another kiss. 

_ Proper _one, this time, and Miller gave as good as he got. Deep and hungry, tongues twining and hands moving, sliding on wet skin, pressed up so tight together even the hot water couldn’t run down between them. And Miller was hard as fuck now, just as hard for this as Staz was. He groaned and shuddered when Staz reached down and closed a hand around his cock. Just squeezing for now, even though Miller was already trying to thrust into his grip. 

“We’re gonna… use up Diogo’s rations, like this,” Miller panted. His native Belter accent was coming out stronger for once, Staz noticed. Good. 

“Can transfer him spare tomorrow. Is na hurry,” he said, grinding himself into the front of Miller’s hip. “Wanna take the time for make you feel _ good, _me.” Staz reached back blindly for the soap. “Yeah?” 

“Stop talking and do it, then,” Miller snapped, or tried anyway. Staz squeezed him again and he trailed off into another breathy groan instead. 

“Turn around,” Staz said, squirting a generous amount of the soap gel onto one hand. He put the bulb back and spread the gel over his hands as Miller turned, then slid his soap-slick hands down that lean body, front and back both. 

Miller groaned, bracing on the wall as Staz closed one hand around his cock again, slid the other between his ass cheeks, found that tight little hole. Pressed one finger in, easy with the soap, and Miller shuddered, his head dropping down between his elbows, feet spreading wider. Staz twisted a little, worked in deeper, running his other hand over Miller’s cock at the same time. Sliding his fist up to palm the head, then back down to the base again, grip tight, jerking Miller off in long, firm strokes. 

Not speeding up, not yet. Miller was tight, _ so _fucking tight. Staz took his time, worked him open nice and slow, until Miller loosened enough he could get two fingers in. He twisted his hand, palm facing the floor, fingers pushing forward and looking for— 

Miller gasped, shuddering as Staz’s fingertips brushed over that sweet spot inside him, and Staz grinned in triumph. 

“Ahh yeah… there he is,” he murmured, rubbing the little bundle of nerves again and pumping Miller’s cock faster. Miller was panting hard, hips twitching as he tried to fuck himself forward into Staz’s grip and back onto his fingers all at once. Staz kept stroking him, inside and out together, and Miller was so fucking sensitive that it was no time at all before he was _ shaking, _chest heaving with harsh, grunting breaths. 

“Oh, _ fuck—_” 

Miller’s explosive, strangled curse was all the warning Staz got before Miller was coming, his ass clenching around Staz’s fingers, cock hotter than the hot water and throbbing steel-stiff in Staz’s hand. 

And it just kept _ going, _streak after streak of white spurting out to hit the wall of the shower while Miller spasmed, gasping for breath in between deep, shuddering groans. Staz worked him through it, finger-fucked him slow again, wringing the last pulses of come from his twitching cock while the water washed it all away down the drain. 

When Miller was done, Staz finally slipped his fingers back out. Cleaned them under the hot spray of water and moved his other hand to Miller’s hip while the man trembled against him, still panting. 

“Told you, gonna make you feel good,” Staz growled, thrusting against Miller from behind with a low groan. _ Fuck, _he wanted to see his dick buried in that gorgeous ass. Feel Miller tight and hot on his cock and not just his fingers. 

But he couldn’t. Not this time, least. So instead Staz kept one hand on Miller’s hip, slipped the other down to stroke his own aching cock. And that still felt good, more than good enough, with the head of his cock rubbing over Miller’s skin, Miller’s desperate gasps echoing in his mind while he fucked his own hand. 

“Was impressive, that one,” he added, mouthing at Miller’s neck again and not stopping getting himself off. “Na bad for a ol’ man.” 

Miller turned. Flushed, eyes bright, bare wet chest still heaving. “Fuck you,” he said causally, and slapped the water off. 

“Well…” Staz grinned, let himself go to spread his hands wide in invitation. “If you wan—” 

The rest got cut off when Miller shoved him against the wall again, kissed him hard and rough— and then dropped straight to his knees. Before Staz could do more than blink with surprise, his cock was in Miller’s mouth, Miller’s lips closing around him and tongue sliding hot and wet down his shaft. 

His hips jerked forward without asking the rest of him first, and Miller slammed them back against the wall again with one hand. Didn’t stop though, didn’t look up either; just kept sucking noisily up and down Staz’s cock, damp hair half covering his face and his knees spread wide on the floor of the shower. Staz groaned, panting, fisted his hands at his sides. Too tempting to fist them in that messy hair instead, and Miller didn’t seem in the mood to appreciate that.

It was cold, with the water off, but Staz hardly noticed. Miller’s mouth was more than hot enough on him, and another kind of heat was building up _ fast _behind his cock. Could feel his balls pulling up already, tight between his legs. Part of him wanted to close his eyes, wanted to make this last— but he couldn’t look away from his dick sliding in and out between Miller’s lips. 

_ This tha _ only _ time a Belter should be on his knees, _Staz thought, and his cock hit the back of Miller’s throat, and those two things together did him in. 

Staz came sudden and _ hard, _ the rising heat tearing through him in a flash. His breath seized in his lungs, legs shaking under him and cock throbbing as he started pulsing out in the wet heat of Miller’s mouth with a gasp. “_Shit— _Miller— the fuck—” 

Miller spluttered and pulled off, coughing out a curse. He didn’t stop jerking Staz’s cock though, hard and fast, and Staz shuddered the rest of the way through his orgasm, leaning back on the wall and watching his come splatter down over Miller’s chin and chest. Letting the sight burn into his memory. 

It was Miller who broke the silence while Staz was still twitching, still trying to remember how to breathe. 

“Y’know, a little _ warning _would be nice next time,” he grumbled, wiping his mouth off with a grimace. 

“You too good, Miller,” Staz finally said, when he could talk again. Spread his hands innocently in a purposely exaggerated shrug. “Was nothing I couldna do, me.” 

Miller snorted but Staz could see the smile tugging up the corner of his mouth. “Just turn the fuckin’ water back on, would ya? I’m freezin’ my ass off down here.”

Staz laughed, turned the shower back on first and then offered Miller a hand. Hauled him back up to his feet and straight into another kiss. He could still taste the hint of whiskey on Miller’s tongue, but now mixed with the taste of _ himself, _too. Made him want to taste Miller right back. Too late for that now, but… 

They finally broke apart. Staz lounged back against the wall with a satisfied sigh and Miller turned away to scrub himself clean. 

“So that mean we gonna have a next time, then?” Staz asked after a minute. 

“What?” Miller asked, distracted. 

Staz smirked. “You said a little warning, next time. Can do that, me. If you wan’ for do this again. If you still here after tomorrow.” 

Miller stayed silent. His usual brooding expression was already back in place, that almost-frown he always wore. Was less dark now, though, than before. So there was that, at least. 

The quiet stretched, with no sound except splashing water. Staz was just starting to think Miller wasn’t going to answer at all, when he did. 

“Yeah. Maybe.” Miller paused, opened his mouth like to say more, but just shrugged instead. 

“Something for think about,” was all Staz said. He wasn’t going to push. Wouldn’t work with Miller anyway. He knew that much already. 

Miller grunted and went back to washing, his eyes already distant again. He didn’t even look over when Staz pushed off the wall, just made room for him to slip past and out. 

Staz dried quick, tugged his clothes back on and glanced over at Miller. He was standing with both hands braced on the wall again, head tilted back, eyes closed and face turned up to the spray of the shower. 

Still looked damn good. 

“Hoy, Miller,” Staz called. Miller’s head turned, eyes blinking open like he’d forgot Staz was there. Maybe he had. “Meant it, before, me. You a pashang _ hero, _ beratna. Was a victory for _ all _Beltalowda today. Even if not everybody know. Even if there’s some who don’ want for see it.” 

Miller didn’t answer and Staz shrugged his hands. “Is just truth. Thought you need for hear it, maybe.” 

He turned to go, then heard the water shut off and the shower door open. 

“Thanks,” Miller said into the quiet. Staz turned back. Waited. Watched Miller chew on the inside of his cheek a minute. “So, hey, I been thinkin’. See, there’s this thing I gotta do, and… well, I might be stickin’ around Tycho a little longer. If Fred Johnson don’t decide to just toss me out an airlock tomorrow after all,” he added with that wry, dark little half-smile Staz liked. 

Staz nodded a hand, looked him up and down with a grin. “Next time, then, eh?” 

Miller flushed but didn’t look away. The crooked smile stayed, too. Maybe even deepened a little. 

“Yeah, sure. Next time.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I have a couple ideas that might turn into another chapter, but they might not. So I'm marking the fic as complete for now, in case I don't manage any more updates on it. 
> 
> Drop a comment if you like! I'd love to know what you thought :)


End file.
